You log off your computer after a long day of work and immediately start thinking about your day and all of the things that did not go well or you did wrong. You scanned that document upside down. You hit reply all on that e-mail. You barely managed to stumble through the presentation you spent hours preparing for over the weekend.
In any relationship there are boundaries that need to be set. We must define what we want from the relationship, and, whether it is explicitly delineated or not, it’s important that we make clear our intentions and needs while also accepting and understanding the needs of the other person. This mutual agreement is the bedrock of our society and of our ability to form lasting connections and mutually beneficial partnerships with the people around us.
How do you talk to your friends? What issues do you care deeply, passionately about? How do you relate to others so they feel seen, heard and valued?
Your LinkedIn feed is probably full of articles with catchy headlines like, “One virus, many new questions,” “Coronavirus: Fujitsu announces permanent work from home plan,” and “Step into the office of the future…” If you’re anything like me, your workspace is probably full of things like silly putty, granola bars, a cup-from-your-favorite-bar-turned-water-cup, and a sweatshirt where the blazer hung three months ago when you began occupying this space instead of the corner office or the cubicle.
When we’re learning to use the Platinum Rule, we are often unsure of how to proceed because we don’t know how our colleagues want to be treated. It doesn’t have to be a guessing game, though; the concept of work styles takes most of the guesswork out of learning how our colleagues would like to be treated. Work styles are the way in which we think about, organize, and complete our tasks. There are four key styles, which are outlined in this article.
We know the Golden Rule. We went to first grade. But in case you need a refresher, the Golden Rule is, “Treat others the way you would want to be treated.” Now, it’s important to remember, we were very young when we heard this rule for the first time. In most cases, we were presented with this rule on the heels of something like biting our sister or taking a toy from someone else… Something pretty juvenile. For the most part, though, the Golden Rule holds up the same way chocolate milk boxes do - it’s a classic, and it’s a good rule of thumb.
You’ve probably had a conversation with a friend or coworker where they’ve told you they’d really like to take action, but they’re just “too much in their heads.” Or that they’d really like to do something you or someone else has done, but they just don’t know if they could manage it. Many of these conversations stem from the lies that we tell ourselves every day. The biggest four are these: “What if I’m not good enough?” “It didn’t work out last time, there’s no way it will work out now.” “I can control everything if I work hard enough.” “I can’t ask for recognition.”
Have you ever been about to act, but were completely paralyzed by the fear of what comes next?